Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Why do people behave the way they do?


Consider extroverts and introverts for example. They are opposite personality types in a Myers-Briggs personality profile. Extroverts are focused on what is going on outside of themselves and get their energy from being around other people. Introverts are focused on what is going on with their own thoughts and feelings. Being in a group wears them out emotionally. Introverts do well one-on-one and reenergize by spending time alone.
“Western culture seems to favor extroverts. Indeed, extroverts seem to always be having a great time! One study found a positive correlation between extroverts and happiness (extroverts appear to be happier than introverts). Extroverts may also have higher self-esteem. Extroverts seem to have a positive and enthusiastic approach to most activities in life, and can have good communication skills. They may also spend more money because they socialize more.”
Judging other people we make errors because we perceive others through our personality profile or our mental model of how other people should behave.  A society dominated by extroverts perceive introverts as shy, non-communicating, socially inept and having neurotic traits. Introverts misjudge others because they process everything internally before expressing themselves.  This can frustrate extroverts who are constantly saying what they are thinking and feeling without getting an immediate response from an introvert.
As a young adult, an introvert might seem romantic to an extrovert.  The introvert communicates well one-on-one and wants to spend time alone giving the extrovert all of their attention.  However the extrovert wants to be in groups, make lots of friends and communicate with as many people as possible.  The introvert might go to parties and events, however most of the time they would rather be at home.
To an introvert, extroverts appear to engage in small talk, superficial conversations and lack depth of thinking or feelings.  To an extrovert, introverts don’t communicate at all, don’t have any friends and take too long to make decisions.  Each has in their mind a substitute life compared to how the real world works.  Extroverts value communication and networking with others. Introverts value being alone to think, feel, read and write. Introverts often feel society judges them as deficient, neurotic and second class citizens.
We all know how extroverts are valued in society because they are in careers that value communication skills. People of similar personality traits tend to seek out the same types of careers. Introverts are actors, teachers, engineers and computer experts.  Extroverts are in careers that require verbal communication skills such as marketing, public relations, sales, entertainment and leadership.  However there are many introverts that attain leadership positions in their own career field. Utility companies often have introverts as managers and leaders.
Extroverts and introverts need each other.  Each brings value to relationships, family and life.

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