Suffering

Right now, I am causing my own suffering, in the present moment. I am responsible for my own feelings, emotions and thoughts that cause my suffering right now.

I have control over my own behavior in the present moment. I am responsible for my own feelings, emotions and thoughts, here, right now. I am accountable for managing and controlling my own feelings and thoughts, in the present moment.

I am not responsible for your feelings. I am not the cause of how you feel right now. Being here now, I am not responsible for your feelings, emotions or thoughts, in the present moment.

We are each responsible in the present moment for our own feelings and thoughts about the past. I can not control your behavior anymore than you can control mine.

Your feelings come from your own thinking. Your beliefs and expectations are things you generate and control.

For example, your feelings about past experiences are not my responsibility. I am not accountable for your feelings about your past.

When you respond to me with anger, blame, resistance, withdrawal or compliance, you will likely end up feeling anxious, stressed or depressed.

When you get mad at me, I practice loving-kindness in my mind to manage and control my feelings, emotions and thoughts in the present moment.

I practice non-suffering. Everyday, I have to practice with mindfulness over time to create memories of non-suffering. When I accumulate enough memories of non-suffering, then I can use them in stressful situations.

You are using your memories to cause your own suffering in the present. You have accumulated stressful memories that you are using to make yourself mad in the present.

What would you like to have happen?
How are you going to feel when that happens?

What is the Basic Human Problem?

What is the basic human problem? We live a substitute life.  We believe our thoughts are our life.  We substitute our believed thoughts for reality.  Instead of analyzing all of our thoughts, solving the basic human problem involves living a practice life.  Practice listening to your believed thoughts and labeling them.  Sit quietly for ten minutes when you won’t be interrupted, focus on your natural breath and become aware of your thoughts.  Practice labeling each thought as they enter your mind.  Practice daily as often as you can.

We act on our believed thoughts.  We make mistakes because our believed thoughts are not how things actually work. The practice life is not about expressing or suppressing our thoughts and feelings. The practice life is about experiencing our thoughts and feelings.  By sitting quietly for ten minutes, focusing on our natural breathing, we experience our thoughts and feelings.  We welcome them.  We let them come into our mind, release them and then the next one comes.

Do no harm is a common principle. However people get angry and express their anger, hurting the people closest to them. In the practice life, do not express negative emotions and do not suppress emotions.  In the practice life, we experience our emotions.  For example, we sit quietly for ten minutes, focusing on our natural breathing and we welcome our anger.  We feel our anger coming, we experience rising anger, the peak of anger then the anger falls away and we release the anger.  We experienced anger and did no harm to anyone.

The goal is not enlightenment or perfection or never feeling angry or afraid.  The goal is to not live a substitute life of believed thoughts and instead experience our thoughts and emotions.  Every day, practice with thoughts and emotions while sitting quietly and focusing on the natural breath.

Go to the second entry in this series.




Source: Bayda, Ezra. Being Zen: Bringing Meditation to Life. Boston.: Shambhala, 2002. Print.